October 5th, 2013

One year closer to figuring life out...

It's my birthday. Enough said on that one.

October 2nd, 3013

Today I will sit, look at a phone book, and hate every person whose mane I see.

You need to just not.

Stop trying to be black.

Thank gosh.

I just apologized to my pencil case better than I apologize to real people.

Why can't I just talk to people with out flipping out?

This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world.

So this is a compilation of the day's thoughts. I had written them down on post-it notes or whatever I could find throughout the day and then wrote them all in my journal at the end of the day because I didn't want to share these thoughts with the world on twitter at the time. But I guess that is kind of what I am doing now. Most of these were just stupid things my friends said that day that became kind of an inside joke/phrase of ours, Others are things I read/heard in poems, thoughts I had that struck me as notable, or song lyrics. I feel like this kind of describes my mindset at the time though. And now. Who am I kidding. 

October 1st, 2013

Fuck you! Fuck

you very very much!

Cuz we hate what 

you do and we hate

your whole crew so 

Please, DON'T stay 

in touch!

So this is a portion of the lyrics from the song Fuck You by Lilly Allen. I was a bit obsessed with this song this time last year, so it is only fitting that it made it into my journal. I also wrote it on a whiteboard in my room (not the fuck you part because my parents do go into my room so that would have been a tad awkward) and my friend made fun of me for it for a while. She said "Most people have an inspirational quote on their wall, but you basically tell the whole world to fuck off." And yeah, I guess that is what that is. But looking back, I do think it would make more sense for this to have come a little later in the year. Ahh, spoiler alert!

October 1st, 2013

Yooo! Lol, had to do that. Ok so I am starting this thing where I have a journal. Not a diary. Just a journal. Just to, like, write how I'm feeling, moods, small thoughts, that kind of thing. Maybe even song lyrics or something. Whatever. The only thing is I'm gonna try to write every day, even just a line or something. But I had to write this first entry in purple because its like my soul color or something. I just want a way to be able to look back on my thoughts for a full length of time. The other day, I heard a girl saying how in 5 years, she would be 14 and how her life would be then. I found myself thinking, you nave NO IDEA how much things can change in 5 years ago. 5 years ago, I thought I would be going to Groton School with my best friend Lauren, having the time of our lives. But now, I haven't even talked to Lauren in forever and I am going to NDA. I thought I would have a boyfriend in high school who I would see everyday. Even 2 years ago, when Fiona moved away, I thought we wouldn't ever be close really again, but now we spend all day w/ each other and we are the tightest shit around. My point is, I have no Idea what I will be like by the time I finish this journal. But, to my future self reading this, I do want to at least lay down 1 major guideline to life: Be in control, and don't let anyone push you around. You are better than that. If you, reading this, can't honestly say that you are in control of where your life is headed, you have officially disappointed your 14 (almost 15!) year old self. Congrats. But anyway, that's why I am writing this. This entry was kinda long but I said everything I needed to, so all's good. I really hope I'll be able to keep this up because at least then I will be able to say I have motivation for something. So that's all really for this entry. Might do another one today. After homework. Unfortch. But seriously I need to stop writing now. Later loser :)

Wow. This feels long ago. Like I said a year ago, It is amazing how much can change in such a short amount of time. But anyway, you are probably wondering some things like why I wrote journal even though this is a blog and all that. This is the first journal entry in my journal, written exactly a year ago (and yes, I did actually write the original journal entry in purple like it was said, so I made the font purple too so it wouldn't look weird). I decided to make a blog about my life, on dates a year ago and how it relates to or is different from the date in the current year. It is really crazy looking back on this stuff. But I thought this way I could publicly share my life while still keeping it private, because the most recent thing you would know happened a full year ago. So yeah. Hope you continue to read these. Guess I should end there. I really have to work on my endings. (insert final concluding thought here)